Where my modernity and emergence meet

Sometimes I feel like a walking ball of confusion. Part of me is grounded firmly in modernity, while part of me is caught up in the attitudes of emerging culture. I offer this as an example: I am a teaching pastor in a small church. The services are forever evolving (the pastor believes change should be constant). My duties are simple. I preach twice a month, and fill the pulpit as necessary for the pastor. The church is mostly tradional; the pastor is mostly fundamentalist, and I find myself teaching a church body that, while early in life as a congregation, has been together for years in a previous congregation. My "audience" (for lack of a better word) expects tradional types of sermons (3 points and a poem as we say in baptist life). However, my heart is not that of a traditional preacher. I believe in the power of narrative. I teach in simile and metaphor, and I fill my messasages/lessons with illustrations; yet I find myself ending with propositional thought. No matter how hard I try to minimize the propositional aspects of my teaching, there it is. The modern subverting the emerging thought process.

How can I see the dangers of propositional preaching in emerging culture, and still preach propositionally? It's like a curse. I've been programmed to break down everything to its basic elements and then reconstruct it. How can I become more holistic in my views? How do I get beyond the mental ascent to a narrative, holistic theology, to the practice of a narrative, holistic theology? How do I stop talking about a social gospel and start living a social gospel? How do I, as a soon to be seminary student at a school that has high church tendencies, find my way into a street church mentality and life? To be honest, I don't know and it scares me. All I know is that I feel compelled by God to faithfully follow Him down a road that is dark, and where He's only shining a light a few cobbles ahead. All I know is that I must step into that darkness.